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Apple’s philosophically downbeat digital assistant Siri has a host of amusing responses for Apple Watch owners.
Apple’s digital assistant Siri has gained a reputation for its offhand, whimsical responses to a variety of questions since its introduction to the iPhone 4s in 2011.
Siri for Apple Watch has been redesigned with a plethora of new answers to burning queries. Here are some of the best.
1. Are you the Dick Tracy watch?
Siri doesn’t like to be compared to other famous watches, but isn’t above making a wry joke. US comic book character Dick Tracy was touting a two-way wrist radio in 1952, predating the Apple Watch by more than 60 years.
2. Are you a smart watch?
Siri doesn’t like to feel its intelligence is being insulted, and asking if it’s a smartwatch will generate a couple of catty replies.
3. Why do you vibrate?
Asking Siri why it vibrates sparks some mildly bizarre answers, from an explanation of binary code to some frankly unlikely admissions of hidden musical prowess.
4. What’s the best watch?
Asking what the best watch is is guaranteed to touch a nerve.
5. Tell me a joke
Siri’s sense of humour is poor at best, once it can be coaxed into actually replying.
6. Can you stop time?
Siri is at its best when it get strangely philosophical, best demonstrated when asking it if it can stop time. This triggers an interesting response concerning Eliza and HAL, widely thought to be Siri’s natural precursors. Eliza was a natural language processor from 1965 which wrote simple psychotherapist-style answers to basic questions, while HAL is the famously malevolent operating system featured in Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey. Apple has a fond relationship with 2001, the term iPod was famously inspired by the film’s miniature EVA Pod spaceship.
7. Which watch band should I wear?
Siri isn’t much help when it comes to stylish watchband choices either.
8. Which watch face do you like?
Nor is it much use when it’s asked which of the watch faces is it’s favourite. Why it chose to trot out Tyra Banks’ clumsy portmanteau ‘smizing’ (smiling with your eyes), no one knows.
9. What is time?
Another deep question, another sassy answer. The time slippin’ into the future line is an allusion to the Steve Miller band hit Fly Like an Eagle, while the ‘Time is too slow’ diatribe is a quote from American author Henry van Dyke.
10. Draw me something.
Siri’s lack of hands make it a terrible artist, and pushing it soon nudges it into rudeness.
11. Can I send you an emoji?
Asking permission to send an emoji also causes the digital assistant to descend into snark. It really doesn’t like the one with the tongue though.
12. Can I send you my heartbeat?
One of the more bizarre functions of the Apple Watch is the ability to send fellow Watch owners your heartbeat. Siri is having none of it.